last week basically consisted of having tons of school work and also having tech rehearsal for ARD/ADC. we had english reading every night and i was very, very thankful for my study hall. but it was really fun hanging out at tech. i somehow manage to grow close with every year of dance minors. now that i don't have rehearsal anymore i'm really going to miss jackie and jessie and liz and everyone. sigh. but yeah... like i said, i can't remember *anything* about school ever. haha.

all the performances went really well. lots of people that i love came. a lot of my friends and both my dance teachers... so that was very nice... especially cause i heard from all of them that i did really well. :] and also every night i got to go out and watch the performances... which was great...

saturday was pretty much the busiest day ever. i got up at 6 to go take the SATs. they were four and a half freaking hours!!! my brain hurt so bad by the end, but i think i did pretty well. i just really want my results so i can say goodbye to the thought of SATs forever. haha. anyway, after that i went out to lunch, then got a massage, then came home and watched harold and maude. after resting awhile i had to go and perform... it was the last night and it was sad, but yeah... then i went over to the campus center and met up with whitney and tsa and abby and melissa and abby's and melissa's boyfriend-ish? yeah. a voice like rhetoric were great and ross talked to me and winked at me. hahaha. and alex is cute and we made eye contact a few times too... but that just kind of made my heart flutter... hahaha... and ross flirts with everyone, so it wasn't a big deal, but it was fun. then unkle john's band played and i stayed and danced to that for a little bit. ummm and dan is an asshole and i'm seriously done with him, he doesn't exist to me anymore, because i'm sick of trying to fix things. yeah the end. i promise. jc had been crying all night and i got to hug him a lot. i luff him. he was so drunk later. hahaha.

so yeah, didn't go to bed until 2 new-time that night, woke up at 1, didn't get up till 2, did homework, watched 'the shining'. that's about it.

in school today we had a physics test that pretty much blew. now we've got PSSAs for three days, which would be a nice break if i wasn't so sick of tests...

xoxo



02 March 2007, 11:11 PM

i'm hunched over a typewrighter, i guess you'd call that painting in a cave
♪: bright eyes - four winds

haven't written since monday, ja? tuesday i was going to stay for academic challenge but then nobody could so it got cancelled. it was sarah's last day of school before she leaves for a month. i miss her already, even though i hardly ever saw her at school. i honestly hardly even remember things that go on at school lately. i feel like most of my friends don't care nearly as much about me as i care about them. it's not a very good feeling. but i can't say anything without being called selfish or hypocritical. leah and i had had bad weeks and we were kind of tense and arguing all week but we ran together on wednesday and ranted a lot and talked it out and we're ok now. which is very nice, because i hate drama, especially with one of my best friends. the thing is we're so close that we know things like that can be attributed to each others' moods, and it ends up being ok, but that doesn't make it any easier while it happens.

looking at goucher has made me want to get out of here even more. i need new experiences and i really need to leave this town behind. i can't wait to choose who i want to stay in touch with, who i want in my life, and do whatever i want whenever i want. i need it so badly. but i'm afraid i'm going to miss this when i lose it.

anyway, yesterday was completely insane. i had a little time after school and then i had to go perform jackie's piece for eating disorder awareness night. that went well... i screwed up once and it was pretty major but i don't think anyone noticed too much. then things got exciting. my dad was supposed to pick me up but he slid off the driveway and got his car stuck in a snowbank, almost running into a tree. i was afraid to go get my mom and ask her to take me home (she was really busy), and i didn't thin the walk would be that bad, so i just walked. it was awful. cold, and i had my worst shoes on. but i made it home. then i wanted to study history but i had to help dad get the car out, because i was the only other person and thank god i can drive. i put it in reverse and he pushed. i had to work the clutch a lot and my leg is really sore right now, hahaha. anyway, we managed to back it up far enough (with the eventual help of our neighbor and his plow, and some salt) that he could turn enough and drive it forward around the tree. i cried. i don't even know why i was so emotional about that but it was intense. and in the meantime i had been arranging rides for myself and leah to dance. but that all got worked out, obviously. dance was fun - it was just me and leah and steph and we were crazy. when i got home i had to stay up late and study history.

school is rocking. i knew that history well enough and i think i probably got an a. i got 100% on a math quiz we just had (with the curve) and i think i did really well on the big test. thank god i'm not letting school get to me, either. i don't know what i'm doing right but i'm not complaining.

today was college enrichment. we watched 'running with scissors' in film. i liked the story but not really the way the film was put together. it was random to the point where it didn't make sense anymore and the whole thing was sort of painfully awkward. i'm still thinking about it, though, so that's a good thing.

tonight i went to see pirates of penzance with leah and emily. it was really entertaining and i liked it, although sometimes i zoned out and sometimes i couldn't understand them when they were singing. soon i'm sleeping. a lot.

i made a new layout, le gasp. i'll probably put it up soon if i can bear saying goodbye to this one.

i'm aware that this is sickeningly long but i've really been wanting to write.

xoxo