whoops, it's been a couple of days. oh well. all i remember about thursday is that i was absolutely dead tired all day. i wore my glasses and that didn't help either. i remember coming home and attempting to take a nap for a couple of hours, then going to dance. dance was really fun even though i was tired. although we did supermaximumintensity pilates and i'm STILL sore. i came home and actually managed to do my math homework, too.

yesterday i had physics and english tests. i think i did pretty well on the physics, actually, and in english i got a 96% on the book test and 100% on the vocab. whee! LOL, i have the exact same grades in english and math. (98.9... how did i pull that off?!) that is so effing amusing. my favorite and my least favorite class.

after school julia and i went to the library to try to get some books for history day. i found one amazing one and i'm really, really excited about my topic. the anti-war movement at the beginning of bob dylan's popularity. whee! we went back to julia's for a little bit and then olivia called and invited me to go see night at the museum. so i went. julia couldn't go for some reason. it was olivia, me, whitney, dan and raffi. the movie was stupid but i sat next to dan and we flirted and i finally worked up the courage to rest my head on his shoulder. haha. i was so nervous for some reason. and i had to ask because we're not, like, cuddly all the time. idk. it was fine. nice actually.

hahaha, troy got arrested for shoplifting. i laughed. a lot. and now i feel kind of weird about it. XD i found his "girlfriend"'s myspace and her status says single. hmmmm. sunday.

xoxo



10 January 2007, 8:36 PM

not all saints are sinners, not all sinners are saints
♪: signal home - seaside

wheee. today was totally the strangest day of my life. i think i'm going crazy, honestly. hahaha.

abby is going out with this kyle kid. he's real cute. and i guess olivia and will are pretty much getting together, but it's not "official" yet. i'm still jealous and i want a boi~. i told everyone the truth about dan. including olivia. THE HONEST TRUTH. the whole truth. which really, only one person knew. possibly two. the truth is, sometimes i really, really want him. but i know that i can't have him, and honestly, he's too weird and unattractive sometimes that i don't care enough anyway. olivia, tsa, whitney and i kind of had deep conversation about that sort of thing in physics today. and how depressed we've all been. and confused.

i slipped up majorly and kind of started talking about joe when katie was right there, and i was talking about THAT to dan and katie was right behind me. i really, really hope she didn't hear me, because i like her.

i just went to the band/orchestra concert... it was pretty good. i laughed at dan bobbing his head. he plays the fricking flute.

do you know what i've realized, that's made me happier than anything? this year fucking sucks. no, wait, that's not it. this year is killing all of us, academically and socially, and i am still genuinely happy. that means it's working. that means i can do this.

xoxo



09 January 2007, 9:21 PM

let me be all the words echoing comfort
♪: the black angels - the first vietnamese war

i should really, really be reading the crucible right now, but um, i don't give a shit.

school is... school. i never do any more than i absolutely have to, and i feel like a slacker sometimes, but most of the time i'm thinking about my mental health first. and my mental health involves doing what i want to do. which is NOT physics or el-func, so i didn't do them. whatever. i'll finish physics the period before it's due. and i obviously haven't even touched my english. but whatever, i always get things done when they NEED to be done and i still have straight As.

i stayed after for key club and academic challenge, where instead of challenging myself academically i worked on physics. well, how about that. then i came home and slacked (i was going to do computer but i realized i never even got the assignment from him?) until it was time for dance. got really hyper there. dan and stephanie are sort of back together... and honestly, i'm not even really affected by that at all.

i had a fun math class with dan. it's really nice to be able to know that somebody i care about cares back, without having to ask for that reassurance. i trust him. and i'm still not quite used to this.

xoxo



08 January 2007, 7:41 PM

i make mistakes that i fall in love with
♪: signal home - two to romance

last night was an amazing show. i was so distracted all day yesterday that i seriously don't remember anything i did, or read, or what. but i did go out to lunch with my mom and grandma, haha, and then i drove for awhile. i can tackle hills now! that's a pretty big achievement with a clutch.

whitney picked me up at 5-ish to go to sun gins and we got tsa at youth group. we're waiting inside and in walks rickkkk. so bearathon played. i was deaf in about 30 seconds. haha. and he's so scary when he screams. but idc. and troy was standing right next to us with his gf and he just kept kissing the top of her head and stuff... meh. SH played next and we were right in front of paul dean and one time he screamed in my face and i almost passed out out of fear. speakerfire were really fucking good and IAN HAS A FAUX-HAWK. :D haha once whitney and i were singing during 'diss(ev)olving' and he looked at us and smiled. :D so pretty. i told him good job afterwords but that was all.

troy and i have a sticking-your-tongue-out war going on, lmao. as soon as we saw each other we both did it at the exact same time, and later when we walked past him in subway he leaned over and did it to me again... so when we left i tapped him on the shoulder and i could hear him do it behind me. ugh so cute, and just so mature. hahaha.

school today... kind of sucked... i hate mondays. a lot. i just really want it to be over. sigh. dan's not dead, he was just at church like i thought. silly russian orthodox catholics. i did get 100% on my math test though. i am so good at transitions...

xoxo



07 January 2007, 10:54 AM

i'm never sure why i need you
♪: the thermals - a pillar of salt

haha, last night had the potential to be both the best night ever and the worst night ever and it ended up somewhere in the middle. but it was a good night. we get to the show and i'm waiting around, all bored, and finally signal home gets there so that meant troyyyy. he had new pants. haha. and he said hi to us right away. woot. so then rick's best friend walks in and i'm like "omg... omg... maybe..." and then rick walked in too. i was jumping up and down. haha. very exciting. he wasn't there for most of the time but he came back for signal home so i got to watch him high-five troy. brotherly love! anyway troy was hanging out with this adorable asian chick all night and they had their arms around each other and were holding hands and stuff. meh. :/ tsa and i went outside at one point and ran into them, just the four of us... awkward, but i got to talk to troy so it was ok.

all of the bands sucked so i sat for 4 of them, but it was fun seeing signal home, even if they were on a stage ABOVE us for the first time. weird. and they played rings and fields for sam, which was fun to hear. when they were done i saw BLOW BOY really near me. *dies* and i was mad that i hadn't noticed him earlier. god i love him, haha. we stuck around for a little bit afterword just to say hi to troy, but he stuck his tongue out at me again and gave us hugs so it was all good. ugh, why does he have to be too old and too taken? :[

so what else did i do yesterday? ummm, got my hair cut... that's about it... today i'm going out to lunch, then reading for school/watching the giants game (maybe), and then whitney's probably picking me up to go to the show at a little after 5. IAN! and TROY! and tsa just said kelsey might be going with her friends so rick might be there again, nnnngh.

xoxo