i feel really good. :] i guess i have to accept that life goes up and down pretty easilly and frequently, you know? i should be reading right now, but that's really all the homework i have left to do. except that i want to get it done soon because i got season 2 of house on netflix AND there's a steelers game on tonight. i'm pretty effing pumped.

so this morning i decided to skip school for an hour or so and FINALLY get my permit. first we went to the college security office so i could get my id for the wise center. now i can get in there to take pilates classes and work out whenever i want, so that's good. :] then we went to the drivers licensing office and basically got in and out of there in 15 minutes with no problems. ! i have my permit!! i can drive legally!! i think i'm way more excited than most people i know, hahahaha, but i've been so excited to drive for FOREVER. tsa got her permit today too which is pretty cool. march 7, i can get my license. :D

and you know what? school isn't that bad. i'm doing really well in computer programming, pretty much ahead of a lot of other people, because i'm a total computer knerd. haha... my study halls are a blast, so is history, and i got a 10 on my english quiz today. math sucked, but what else is new.

i've been listening to really great music lately and i'm trying to get the strokes' first album and tv on the radio's new one. tomorrow is the signal home/scissus mary show. aka donny and blow boy. that's all!

xoxo



06 September 2006, 5:55 PM

if you hate the taste of wine, why do you drink it till you're blind?
♪: bright eyes - old soul song

i had a panic attack today. sigh. i don't know what to do, because school isn't really stressing me out... i mean, i guess it is, but it's not like i hate school. just... i think it was just too much. we went out to get my permit AGAIN and the whole office was open EXCEPT FOR THE DRIVING LICENSE CENTER. i was ready to kill my mom for telling me they were open, but their answering machine didn't say anything about it so it wasn't her fault. but she thought i was still yelling at her and we got into a big fight, and that's when i started really crying and then my dad hugged me and his hair got stuck in my earring and pulled on it and it hurt so.fucking.bad. i thought i had to be bleeding. and then i couldn't breathe or anything because i was sobbing so hard. i feel like an attention whore for going into detail about this because i always say that when something really bothers me i hate to talk about it for that exact reason. but i promise that's not what i'm doing it for. it just feels good to type it all out.

i ran this afternoon for the first time since friday and it felt so great.

anyway. on a much happier note, leah and sarah and i went to see little miss sunshine. it was such a perfect movie. there's this one quote that i really want to find but i can't find the whole thing anywhere. :[ but i'm definitely buying that movie the day it comes out. oh gosh. the three of us are planning to take a cross-country road trip, too, but the soonest it can happen is in like 4 years, lmao. oh well.

school has been okay. lots and lots of homework, but i actually like my classes, especially history and my study halls. i had gym yesterday and it's really, really small. good stuff. i think that's all i can remember right now...

xoxo



04 September 2006, 7:48 PM

honey, i'm gonna make it out alive
♪: lostprophets - everybody's screaming

hiya. i'm back from amy's. it was great, but more about that in a minute or so. saturday night i FINALLY saw snakes on a plane with whitney, alicia, chris, teresa and abby. it was seriously one of the best times i've ever had at the movies, lmao. the movie was really entertaining and whitney, alicia and i danced/sang to the song at the end of the credits. best song ever. lmao. i loved soap, but i'm not sure if i'd see it again... pretty gory and intense.

leah and i left mid sunday morning (amy's family picked us up) to go to the r&r hall of fame. we ate lunch there and it was nasty but then we got to spend a few hours there. i love bob dylan and rock and roll in general and it was really fun going again.

then we came back to amy's house in pittsburgh. we hung out and listened to music and watched 'kiss kiss bang bang' which was the fucking strangest thing i've EVER seen. i didn't follow much of it because i was half awake, but whenever i did start to understand it'd be like "ok, now i'm going to shoot you out of my pants and my girlfriend's going to steal a dead girl!" (yes, that actually happened. *blink, blink*) we slept NINE FREAKING HOURS and i was on a very comfy couch and i feel great. i love amy.

leah and i stopped at the outlets on the way home and i bought black jeans and a white belt that actually doesn't work. i'm going to have to fix that somehow. i tried to sign up for netflix tonight but my mom acted like it was the end of the world and we were signing our lives away, so i'm going to try again when she's in a better mood. *sigh*

xoxo



02 September 2006, 10:00 AM

it ends tonight
♪: AFI - the interview

i just have to do this this morning because a lot has actually happened. last night was the yearly college picnic, as i mentioned... apprentices got recruited to help out, involuntarily... well, actually, rachel and emily volunteered us and then told us we had to. *sigh* there was so much help. most of the time i chased satchi around but i got to chill a little bit too. i got to show off my mommy that i'm so proud of, too. haha.

so, yeah, dan was there. i have to talk about it a bit because it was the first time i've seen him since i've had all these revelations. but honestly, i think this is the period at the end of the sentence. after this i'm not going on about him like i always do. anyway. i'm not going to lie, i shook for the first ten minutes he was there, until i talked to him. i hated it. it's not anything i was doing on purpose, and i was completely avoiding him, not even looking at him, but i was shaking so bad because i didn't know what was going to happen. seriously, i couldn't use my hands at all. i ended up talking to him just a little, but really not paying much attention to him at all. it was nice and i'm really proud of myself. i also noticed that there are *so* many things about him that bother me. like, he just... can't be bothered to make an effort, because he's "better than everyone else". ugh.

it seems like so many times i'd look over somewhere and catch him looking at me. i hate the way he looks at me. i used to love it, because i think some part of me knows there's something in that look. but i'm not going to give him the satisfaction of me acknowledging it, you know? i guess... it's okay to want him, but not okay to need him, or let him mean that much to me. he is not worth it. period.

anyway, after the picnic i went over to leah's and we watched my tape of the VMAs because she wanted to see it. i got to explain a lot with my music knowledge. haha, i love my hobby. and i was still just as excited when AFI won.

i'm so damn tired. i had to get up at 8 to go get my permit, finally, and it turns out the permit office was closed. god damn it, nobody told us. it's normally open at that time, but i guess it's because of labor day weekend. *sigh* i'm never going to get it and i just want to go back to sleep.

xoxo



01 September 2006, 4:26 PM

and for one desperate moment there he crept back in her memory
♪: signal home - time to let a good thing finally last

the last couple of days of school have been okay. i'm a little sad or something because there really isn't anything big that i'm looking forward to. but i'm still having a good time. i'm just not excited about anything, you know? i need a boy or something...

the history test wasn't too hard. i pulled a C, which is good, because i really thought i was going to fail. i don't like physics or el-func at all, but we're just on math review so it's too soon to tell. i was excited about english until i failed the first quiz, lmao, but i did better today.

so, the trial (which i haven't been talking about at all because i find it awkward and too depressing) ended yesterday and everyone is NOT GUILTY. we are all so fucking relieved. i went over to the b&b where my mom's/the college's law team was staying and they were partying. lmao. i went upstairs there to watch the VMAs, and i'd come down during commercials and find drinking attorneys. :D haha it was amazing. kerry, my mom's lawyer, pretty much loves me and wants me to become a lawyer. i might.

the VMAs were so freaking exciting. i think i about died over jade's purple pants and AAR and AFI winning. didn't get to see TBS at all. that was sad. but, GOD, jade... jared leto looked freaking amazing too. and, uhh... let's see... i laughed really hard at pete wentz's monkey? and MCR. hahaha. pathetic.

tonight there's a football game that i want to go to, but i've got to go watch kids (specifically satchi) at the college picnic. oh well... and i think some of us are hitting up SOAP tomorrow night, finally. then i get to spend the rest of the weekend at the rock and roll hall of fame/amy's house with amy and leah. scorreee.

xoxo