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LINKS♥ lj - gj - myspace - last.fm - whitney - alicia - julia - dland |
 25 October 2005, 8:00 PM it's in your head ♪: bush - letting the cables sleep yeah... uhh.. i'm really disturbed right now and i've cried a lot today. i was just watching law and order, and it was the one where they were trying to decide whether to give the 18-year-old kid the death penalty. of course, he was sentenced to it, and the next to last shot is his mother crying and screaming "NOOOO! DON'T KILL HIM!!" and trying to grab him away from the guards. and... i don't know, i'm already all emotional today because of the assembly (more about that in a sec), and it's been taking everything in me not to bitch people out lately cause i'm PMSing and it's getting colder and darker. so anyway, we had an assembly about a girl who died in columbine. video and audio from the day of the shooting. i cried. for the first time since july... actually, that's a lie. i cried sunday night. but only a little. anyway, back on topic.. it was just so intense and overwhelming. and then they were talking about this girl's life, and everything she believed in... at first i was like, "this chick isn't a hero just because she died, you know. she didn't choose to die." but really... if that's what it takes to get her story out there, then, you know, everything happens for a freaking reason. and no, i'm not saying that it's good that she died. but anyway, really, this girl had a lot of the same opinions and ideals as me... and that's what i strive for. what really freaking KILLED me this afternoon, though, was that everyone was back to normal life afterword, and my brain was still buzzing. i didn't want to talk to anyone. at all. because i didn't want to hear anyone else's opinion right then. so i didn't. it was really depressing. i had an ok afternoon but now i'm all depressed again. at least it's for a good reason and not my own twisted mind, for once. it's still raining. and i have no homework. xoxo 24 October 2005, 8:12 PM some days go by, i wish i were famous, or maybe religious ♪: the arcade fire - rebellion (lies) saturday = okay, sunday = horrible. i had to go to dance, and i was DEAD. then i got really frustrated about homework and other things, and THEN i couldn't sleep. so i'm still dead tired. so yeah. i had a really emo morning. my mom had to leave early so i had to close up the house and it was all dark and stuff. i walked to the bus stop and it was dark and raining. i listened to 'blue and yellow'. twice. and then sat alone on the bus behind gerard and listened to more of the used. french class was fun. we had a sub and i had the assignment done so i talked to olivia, jenny, mike and aj. they're cool. i perked up a little by the end of the day. then i rode the bus home and listened to the arcade fire. rachel, emily and leah were going to grasshopper (the hippie store) today so i went with them. i got the most amazing skirt that just screams 'annie', a necklace with a giant peace sign, a headband, and a pin that says ROCK over a star. i feel satisfied. i sort of want it to be friday, because we have that day off, but at the same time i'm really not looking forward to it because i want to do something but i probably won't be able to. xoxo 22 October 2005, 5:20 PM take my hand and we'll make it, i swear ♪: sponge - molly mmmmm. last night was probably the most fun i've had since august. went to noises off again, with whitney, leah and emily. it was even funnier this time for a couple of reasons... firstly, i understood it more and got more jokes, and secondly, there were these two guys that were laughing SO HARD, and we thought we were going to lose one of them. one was really fat... every time he barked out a laugh emily would JUMP. once i heard one of the guys choke, and once i heard a snort... so backstage they'd hear them laugh and then leah and i laughing. haha. it was great. afterwords we squished 7 people in dan's car - this would be dan, jonas, rachel, leah, me, whitney, and chris (in the trunk), hahaha - and went to pizza hut. i'd had pizza for dinner, so i didn't really want any, but ohmygod, so much fun. we're crazy. i hope we didn't scar whitney for life... dan is weird, and i was really happy so i was all ditzy-hyper-crazy... anyway, add about 3 more people and i would've been with all my favorite people in the whole world. and i missed dan. a lot. chris needs to send me the pictures he took. like, now. haha. i got home at about 12:30, and i couldn't fall asleep... i also woke up in the middle of the night for absolutely no reason, and then my dad woke me up at 6 (i had my alarm set for 6:30). make a difference day, yo. i got lucky... it's raining outside, but i got to be inside. we painted kindergarten cubbies at my old pre-school. they were bright red. hehe. it was fun. and i met kosnac's daughter!! it was pretty crazy. ate lunch at the campus center, went to sarah's birthday party. it was fun. i luffs her. we made smelly stuff and i played guitar and we watched some of 'sixteen candles'. yeah, and now i'm REALLY REALLY tired... i think i might go to bed really soon. hahaha. xoxo
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