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 22 September 2005, 4:07 PM i smell you on my hand for days ♪: the beatles - let it be happy b-day to the lovely mr. lazzara :) alors, ici est *le deal* avec moi. (i'm sort of obsessed with french lately, even though i don't really like the class anymore). yesterday was improv. it sort of depressed me. even though jon was there. :) :) :) but i didn't feel like dancing or anything. i thought it was the music, but the music changed and i was still blah. so basically if harvest is indeed moved to november 12, jon can't go with me... he's going to be out of town, "unless something changes". and honestly? i'm fine with that. that's not what was depressing me at all. in fact, i really don't have that much interest in going to harvest anymore. (not just because of losing my date, either, even though at the beginning of all of this i said i didn't want to go without a date. it just doesn't seem like fun anymore) the only way i'll go now is if he can go with me after all. so yeah. i'm fine. but this morning i woke up and like... there's NOTHING to look forward to, and little things were getting to me. so i could tell it was going to be one of those days, you know? i was depressed all morning and i HATED it. before, i'd just wallow in my depression and try to get attention, but now i really hate being depressed because like... the definition of depression is NOT having fun. and it's possible that i hate it because i have no idea where it's coming from. *sigh* also, this hurricane is highlight of the day: madame played us FRENCH DANCE PARTY/RAP SONGS in la classe de francais. it was so exciting. olivia and i were dancing a lot. i've also been making up **!random french phrases!** to amuse myself... "i have eaten the socks" and "there are a lot of strawberries in my eyes" are some of my favorites. heh. c'est joyeux. i also went to french club after school. we've got to sell 10 tubs of $13.50 cookie dough or we're out. but i'll work it out... because i REALLY want to go to france. we're also going to cape cod twice next summer, but it means that i'll miss my dance recital, most likely. :( aw, man. but that gives me another good reason not to do pointe... i won't get to show off at the end of the year. so yeah. modern tonight. and tomorrow night is the homecoming football game. i wonder if we'll win like last year... ? xoxo 20 September 2005, 8:54 PM spin around me like a dream ♪: something corporate - konstantine argh. sometime this afternoon i closed out mozilla cause it froze, and then when i tried to reopen it it asked me to choose a user, or something. i clicked 'default' and it said that was already in use, so i made a new account, like it told me to. that worked, but all of my bookmarks & paswords were gone. gosh... i now have to recreate my entire favorites list and re-login to everything. what a pita. boring day. highlight was going to jill's room for fifth period/lunch, which is like longer than an hour... we ate lunch fast, and then looked at sarah's pictures from semester at sea. the guy she was "completely obsessed with" DEFINITELY gets my approval. gosh.. i really want to meet him. lmao. then we went outside and had a dance class. it was funny... it was down by rat lake so we were like... frolicking through the fields. XD after school was the key club meeting. i'm going to tutor middle school kids in math during one of my study halls and do make a difference day. it kind of makes me feel good to be doing it... but we'll see. i put off studying/doing my homework in favor of msn, and then it was time for ballet. i wasn't even dreading going. i like dancing. however, after 2 minutes en pointe i decided that i'm going to wait until my toenails have grown back completely. hahaha. it's funny.. i love stephanie to death, but it's really awkward standing there and talking to her when what i really want to do is go home and read my uber long email from her boyfriend. haha. now i've got to go and do things that i'm supposed to. darn. :/ xoxo 19 September 2005, 8:14 PM just say goodnight to yourself ♪: the starting line - the drama summer i'm having major landscapes withdrawl right now. i had 'spin, tremble, breathe' going through my head all day. in science, we were talking about time, and some deep questions came up in my head that i wish i could've discussed at landscapes the year the theme was 'time'. i'm writing my narrative for english about writing 'spin, tremble, breathe'. it's way too long, yet i can't express everything i want to say about it. when i got home i watched the video of the performance 3 years ago. hilarious. everyone looks so little. shea was about two feet tall, dan had no hair (AHHHHH SCARY SO SCARY), rachel and i had the most hair i've ever seen on anyone, and the kids i know to be older now were really really small. so then i went and watched the tape from this year. it was much better. rachel wasn't at school today, so i was worried about lunch being awkward. when i walked in jon wasn't at our table but he saw emily & me sit down and came over. and we talked the entire time. it made me really happy. otherwise, i had a really boring day. and i've got lots of homework... most of which i didn't do... bad annie. but i'm sort of addicted to my essay. oh shit, i have a history test wednesday, don't i? better do my math homework tonight, then. *sigh* oh, i also had a piano lesson tonight, and i'm liking piano more and more, so i might actually practice a lot this year. wouldn't that be lovely? tomorrow is ballet... and probably something else that i've forgotten. haha. xoxo 18 September 2005, 12:31 PM your eyes, they see through my soul ♪: the used - blue and yellow yesterday was fun. not as much fun as i've had in awhile, but i can't figure out why. huh. dan, rachel, and leah came over at like one. being all back together again was really nice, even though we didn't do much. listened to music. made dan play me 'august in bethany'. sat on my [smaller; not as exciting; dangerous; squeaking] love swing and nearly broke it. cuddled on the couch and watched old nickelodeon gameshows. played with dan's hair. it's crazy how addicting that boy is. like... i almost need to be around him. i could see myself marrying him if i felt any attraction to him whatsoever. teresa's party was at six thirty. it was fun. lots of balloons and dancing and strobe light and badminton and sugar and pizza and headaches and coughing, but no major fights or anything. i'm learning. the last thing we did was watch 'without a paddle' but i sort of stopped paying attention and fell asleep until the credits with BLARING music came on. i didn't sleep very well because of the hard floor and my cold, but it's okay. i'm not tired right now, but a little sleepy and out of it, and i don't want to do anything. but i have homework, and i have to shower. xoxo 16 September 2005, 11:50 PM it was so simple in the moonlight ♪: the used - i caught fire (in your eyes) lots to tell because i've been a bad girl and haven't updated. wednesday and thursday school days were hella boring, but extracurricular activities were quite nice. rachel came over after improv on wednesday. we studied chem and listened to music. and finally finished isaac's t-shirt. he adores it, for the record. he'd freaking better, haha. that ended up being so much work. but now that we know how to do it, it shouldn't be. thursday was the first modern class. at the beginning we had a photographer take pictures of us with the wood exhibit, like the other day. it was slightly awkward. but then we did modern stuff and it was enormously fun. today was the first day of enrichment. i got put in a freaking math class instead of brian's art class. i can't understand a word of it. i guess it'll be a good challenge, but i REALLY want to be in art! i'll find a way. dance with jill is good, but leah and i and christine and this girl named erin are really the only ones willing to participate. i don't think the others knew what they were getting into. and i'm super excited about philosophy, because i love the subject. the class may not be as great, but the teacher is wonderfully psycho and i think it'll be a blast. I SAW JC TOO. he gave me a hug and a kiss and i told him i'd get right on finding him a boyfriend. yup. tonight we (leah, rachel, i) went to see 'the fantasticks'. the only people i knew in it were jon and his brother mark... and kind of the girl with the lead role, but i really only knew WHO she was. it was really good. held my attention the entire time. i hugged jon afterwords :) :) :) and dan and stephanie were there, too.. UM YAY. yeah that's it. i should go now to get some sleep before dan-proofing my house tomorrow morning. i like jon. a lot. the end. xoxo |