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 17 August 2005, 9:40 PM the internet is really really great... ♪: sense field - save yourself so today was good. i went to marching band, bright and early... audrey's mom had to pick me up cause my mom had a meeting, or something. anyway, i'm still a little confused but it's getting there. everyone is really nice, and everything, it's just that i don't fit in like i do at, say, landscapes. i'm not sure i like being a 'band geek', either. oh well... it's only been 2 days, right? when i got home i was bored for awhile and then rachel called me. she came over and we played dressup and had a photoshoot, and listened to 'rent'. it was amazingly fun. AND rent is coming to the college sometime. we're totally going. so then i got in touch with emily over msn and she told me that there was a women in black vigil at the park at 7:30. so i went. it was so amazingly overwhelming and emotional. mr scott was there... at first i was scared but then i was like 'fuck it', and i walked right past him and totally ignored me. he said hi to me and i just gave him this big, warm, sarcastic smile oozing with 'eff you'. i mean, he's not a bad person, but the nerve of that man... anyway, i talked to eleanor afterwords and she said i could come to a class for the dance intensive. DOOD, I GET TO SEE JC TOMORROW! AND DANCE! i'm thinking of going to improv & yoga tomorrow. also, carla's hosting a big improv thing friday night. i'm really excited because i love carla and i love improv. yay... oh, and friday day i guess i'm going to whitney's house to make constantine t-shirts for the concert. YESSS. and i get to see fishie before she leaves for a long time! YAY! xoxo 16 August 2005, 1:55 PM take me away from here ♪: blink 182 - feeling this so this morning i woke up WAY too early again, but for a different reason. my dogs started barking like maniacs... like, i really thought someone was breaking into the house. they haven't barked like that since last summer when the workers were here every morning. so after about 15 minutes when i heard NO ONE shutting them up, i went downstairs to investigate. the house is completely empty, both cars are gone. naturally, i freaked. so i'm pacing downstairs, and my mom drives in. i started yelling at her and then she reminds me that she had a doctors' appointment, and she told me yesterday. i had completely forgotten. hahaha. it's funny now, because i was still half awake and ready to either pee myself or call the cops, or both. i never went back to sleep, but i went to marching band at like 9:30. turns out i can join. word. i'm actually not too far behind... the marching is easy to pick up, but i have to learn & memorize the songs. i'm worried about that part. anyway, i saw kyle and like... wow. he's still cute, but... nothing in comparison, and i felt nothing, which is good, i suppose. i mean... i bet the minicrush will never go away... but you know. fair week is next week, and i am TERRIFIED. for a number of reasons... i'm terrified of seeing adam in general, and terrified that adam will have a girlfriend, and terrified that if i go with dan, adam will see me with dan (who is ten thousand times more my type) and... it won't be good. adam is like a stuffed animal or fictional character to me right now, the way i talk about him. jeez. xoxo 15 August 2005, 6:38 PM he only loves those things because he loves to see them break ♪: the ataris - takeoffs and landings NNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (i will get to an explaination in a minute, i promise) yeah, so yesterday i got home and i really wanted to see emily, so i went over to hers and rachel's house for awhile. we were going to go outside and jump on the trampoline, but then it started to rain REALLY hard. so... we pretty much said screw it, and ran outside in the rain and screamed and ran around and skipped down the street... so much fun. so then we decided that since we were already left and the dog needed a bath we'd walk down to their dad's office (yes, in the rain), get the dog, and come home and give her a bath. so we did. and got wetter. then we watched some little kid's movie called 'the point', which was adorable, and played the 'in my pants' game while listening to old school BSB. so much fun. at some point during that day, we talked to dan, who was randomly coming to town today. so we decided to hook up... rach and em came over noonish again, and we paced around and stuff until about 3, when we walked down to the field where we play frisbee to meet dan. emily left when we were almost there because she had to go to a dance intensive meeting. so rachel and i were waiting around for dan and suddenly i get this thought: "oh my god, what if he brings jon!? he'd better not bring jon. oh my god..." so of course, he brought jon. we tossed the frisbee around for awhile and then played ultimate. i played three games with rachel on my team, three with dan, and three with jon. lost every game. i suck. so we went to get water and laid down and talked and then didn't want to play anymore... soooo we went to jon's house! dan had to take him home anyway, and we wanted to listen to a few songs. so we did. and dan and i both confessed that we'd missed everybody (and each other) and had been frantically listening to 'spin, tremble, breathe' and 'monkey spit' over and over and pining. ♥ so the big picture and the reason for spazzing: i spent over two hours with the two hottest boys i know, and they LIKE ME. (i mean, not like that, but you know.) life is good. xoxo 13 August 2005, 5:37 PM the ocean breathes salty ♪: taking back sunday - ...slowdance on the inside I'M BACK!! ahh, where to begin...? canada. it was exciting to get there, and stuff... but gosh, hayley and i hardly did any talking at all. things aren't the same. IAN IS MY LEAST FAVORITE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. NO EXAGGERATION. if he doesn't get his way, he throws a fit, won't go anywhere, and still goes 'waaaaaah!' the kid is eleven years old. it's never going to stop. and the worst part is, they spoil him rotten and treat hayley like her dearest ambition is to murder them all. it makes me so angry. so yeah, we spent about a day and a half at their house, and then began a 12 hour drive FROM HELL to maine. it wasn't supposed to be that long, but we took back roads, and we were following the canadians, and joel is the SLOWEST DRIVER EVER AHHHHHH. maine/acadia were really, really beautiful. i took lots of pictures... it would've been so much better if we weren't with the canadians the whole time, though. i did a little shopping... got a cool purse, a backpack, and headbands in a hippie store. and had some killer blueberry icecream and fettucine alfredo (not together, EW). YUM. we then trecked (?) down to providence, RI... i actually did my very first college tour. too early? yes. but we were in the neighborhood, and i'm obsessed with brown. it's perfect. but of course, i'm not even coming CLOSE to making decisions now. it's just nice to get started early, you know? and then, oh, and then... the lovely cape cod, my favorite place in the entire world. we rolled in early saturday morning and ate breakfast at a place called the flying fish, which we adore and have been to several times. went to the beach... the water wasn't TOO bad. it got really nice toward the end of our trip. but anyway, every morning we went to duck pond... which is amazing as always... we saw a naked person one time! lol! she just ran in out of nowhere... hilarious... we took 2 trips to p-town. spiritus=amazing as ever, and malassadas are my favorite food (fried dough, only 100x better). i did a little back to school shopping and got some cool shit... i didn't really need much, but the stuff i got is way rad. anyway, being there with leah AND rachel ended up being amazing. they're like my sisters. we boogieboarded and body surfed and wave jumped like there was no tomorrow. they slept over on my birthday, and we tackled the henna hair dye. picture three teenage girls, in their underwear and variously placed plastic bags, putting glop that looks suspiciously like poop into their hair frantically, and THEN scrubbing bathtubs with toothpaste and rugs with peroxide (the stains actually came out, THANK THE LORD). yes, it makes an amazing story. leah's hair is orange, and rachel's is red at the bottom. mine didn't really show up. you can see it in the sun, but that's it. oh well. that night we also listened to avenue q, which is absolutely hilarious. THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN! we want to go see it. and my birthday! we went to the pond in the morning, and then to the beach. i could live my whole life like that. THEN, we went bridge jumping, which is my favorite sport. i got three good jumps, but on the third one a rock (or maybe oyster shell, we think now) went in between my second and third toes and cut me. at first i thought i broke it, and then i thought it was ok... but we were up on the bridge and about to jump again and leah said "hang on, someone's bleeding" and here, i had covered half of the little panel with blood... it freaked me out because i didn't know how big the cut was or where it was. but i sat down and cleaned it and it didn't need stitches. hooray. it's another great story to say i cut my toe jumping off a bridge. and now i'm home, and it feels wonderful, and that's it for now. xoxo 30 July 2005, 9:57 PM this storys old but it goes on and on until we disappear ♪: ben folds five - brick sigh. i leave tomorrow morning, bright and early, and i wish i was in better spirits... i mean, don't get me wrong, nothing happened to upset me. these past few weeks have been unreal... and i love my friends... i'm going to miss everyone so much. i mean, i see rachel and leah at cape cod in a week, but the feeling isn't the same. and i felt slightly unloved tonight, but that doesn't matter because i don't know what i was looking for. i got up way too early this morning, went on the computer for a bit, took a shower, and went out to eat with my grandma, mom and dad. i saw two little girls from landscapes, sarah and grace, and their mom... they're so cute. it made me happy. then we had to go run errands. it was annoying. but whatever. came home and packed. talked to hayley a bit on MSN... "see you tomorrow!" that's so weird. i was excited earlier, but i'm finding it hard to be right now. i really hope i can enjoy my time away. i think it'll be hard NOT to, though. anyway. after i was done packing i had a lot of nervous energy and was pacing and stuff... i just wanted to GO (to cheri's party tonight). i went over to rachel and emily's (actually, sarah's house, because they were over there as that's where their relatives are staying) and dan picked us up there... fucking hell, i'm going to miss him. it's hard to go from being around someone you really like (not like that, i swear) all the effing time to not seeing them at all for weeks. the party was pretty fun. only 'mature' (ha. ha. ha.) people that i actually like. we played guesstures and mad libs. funny stuff. wish i could've cuddled more, though... hm. so yeah. gone for two weeks. canada first, then maine with hayley & co (seeing teresa & co there, too), then cape cod with leah & co and rachel. i really am looking forward to it. just not showing it. i'll miss you all. leave me birthday love on august 10. :) xoxo |